at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
