At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
