census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
