chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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