I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
