i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
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I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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