Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
