i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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