please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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