Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
