I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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