How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize