remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
