just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
