i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
