It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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