walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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