y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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