Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize