youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize