he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
