Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
