he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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