I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize