The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
