Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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