I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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