tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
