Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
