I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
