I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it was like eating out sand paper
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
