I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Your penis caused this!
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