The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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