It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
