i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
