Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
