Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
