I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize