She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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