so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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