we have officially lost it.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize