Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
