Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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