I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
