Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
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It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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