SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Come see our sink grown plant.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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