Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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