I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
