How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing