yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing