found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.