Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst