We named our party play list daddy issues
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue