he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do vagina's smell?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??