its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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