I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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