we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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