Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
