I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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