I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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