i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
FUCK WHALES
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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